The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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