We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
