I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
