he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i out mim tonsoeep
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
