no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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