Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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