I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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