Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
