i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
