how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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