just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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