Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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