The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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