Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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