I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
