do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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