If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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