Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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