How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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