anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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