brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My room smells like vodka and shame
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
