if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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