got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
