You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
