hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
