I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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