she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
