i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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