A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
