check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
