Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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