I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize