My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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