no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
