so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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