After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize