i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
