I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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