My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
