Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
