i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
