Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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