i think i have herpe
just one?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So much rum. So many feels.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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