Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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