Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
