i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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