...so i touched it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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