I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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