She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize