consequently i now know what mace tastes like
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
