Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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