is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
