Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
