i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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