I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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