New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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