no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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