you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
