can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
