I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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