I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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