remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
