I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
