did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
