he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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